Its over?

Is it over or not? i do not know. I still hope that there will be a day that we can get back together. For now, she's gone. Not mine anymore. Im in no position to say anything anymore, no matter how i feel. She deserve a better life. A life without all my restrictions, all my dislikes which affect her decisions and choice of having some fun.

Another party just ended and i thank all my friends for being there. I feel very blessed because i have all of them around me. May God bless them. All of them. Well, thanks to them, it made these times easier for me to go through.

It was a great party i call it. Got drunk very very soon. puked my ass off in the room. Luckily i got better after that. was able to get sober and go down to join them again. sigh. I cried and cried. i just cant get her outta my mind. She mean too much to me. I dont think i can ever love anyone like i loved her again. At least not for a short period of time.

The pain is unbearable. Very very very painful. The pain is unbearable, indescribable, and very heart cell killing. Feels like my heart have been crushed, in to a million pieces. So small that it can go through the eye of a needle.
The first Tiramisu we've ever had together. Its just so hard. Make things so bad and my heart just bleeds when all the great memories came pouring. Now that she's gone. what's left of us? what's left of me?

p/s: please come back to me.